The Day My Vibrator Went Off at Security—and Changed My View on Sex Toys

What My Vibrator Taught Me About Public Perception

I was jogging through Terminal B at Newark Airport to catch my flight to Los Angeles, which I was terminally late for. It was 2019, bless my pre-Covid heart, and I dragged my carry-on behind me like a body bag.

I knew something was wrong immediately.

My suitcase made an odd buzzing sound, and the handle vibrated in tune. I cursed the day I chose to take the train to New Jersey and ignored the beckoning buzz as my name blared over the speakers. Breathing heavily, I arrived at the gate, where I was greeted by airplane personnel. 
"We were about to close the gate, Miss," the flight attendant in her blue United Airlines uniform scolded. Her colleague held out his hand: "We need to check your bag." 
I felt my face flush as I realized there was no way I could give them my buzzing suitcase without addressing the issue within. Not if I wanted to avoid the bomb squad being called in.

"I need to get something really quick…" I mumbled and knelt down to open the zipper. Another flight attendant stepped toward us from behind the counter. All three stared at me, watching my every move as I unzipped the top. The buzzing grew louder. One of the attendants shuffled her feet.  I dug through the sea of clothes, fishing for the culprit. My fingers closed on a smooth, silicone object, which determinedly Bzzzzzzzzzt against my skin. As I pulled out the 8-inch-long object, the flight attendants' faces froze, but none seemed to be able to look away as my index finger found the turn-off button on my pink rabbit vibrator. The buzzing stopped. I stuffed it back into my suitcase, closed it, and jumped onto my feet. 

"Here you go," I screeched, shoving the handle of my suitcase into the arms of the nearest attendant, who watched me in stunned silence. I rushed down the walkway towards the airplane, praying they wouldn't be on the same flight. 

Reflecting on that absurd moment, it's clear how much the world of sex toys and societal attitudes toward them have evolved. When I was a teenager in Austria, I couldn't afford a vibrator, nor did I know where to buy one. The only places that might've carried them were seedy-looking stores with blacked-out windows and red neon signs that advertised wanking booths—tiny rooms where customers could watch porn and, presumably, jerk off. It all seemed like too much trouble just to get a toy. (How wrong I was.) By the time I went to college in California, I discovered sex shops designed for women, their interiors more reminiscent of a cupcake shop than a dungeon. The sex-positive revolution was in full swing, and with it, the sex toy industry boomed. In 2016, it was a $15 billion market; today, it's worth 39 billion, and by 2027, it is expected to reach 52.7 billion. Not only did Covid-19 and its quarantines push the industry to new heights, but public opinion has also shifted drastically since my teenage years.

My journey to discovering my pleasure illustrates the shift that societal shift. When I was a teenager, magazines still wrote articles like "10 Ways to Get Him Off" but rarely "10 Ways to Get You Off." Now, sex toys are sold in pharmacies, and I've recommended my favorites to more people than I can count! Media has played a significant role in this transformation as well. TV shows like "Sex Education" and "Broad City" have brought masturbation into mainstream conversation, portraying it as a natural and healthy part of life. 

The benefits of masturbation are now widely recognized, contributing to a shift in perspective. Masturbation offers numerous health benefits, including stress relief, better sleep, and improved mood due to the release of endorphins. On top of it, I believe that getting to know your own body and desires can significantly boost body confidence and your partnered sex life. It's so important to share what you like with your partner; self-exploration is the only way to discover your desires, so you have to start there.

By recognizing the many benefits of masturbation and embracing the changes in societal attitudes, we can all view our pleasure through the lens of self-care. So, the next time my vibrator goes off in my carry-on bag, I hope I get asked for a recommendation rather than receive a look of disdain. After all, everyone deserves a little self-love.